Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Listening to: At the Cafe Rendezvous - Doris Day (Jazz*Latte)
It Had To Be You - Doris Day (Jazz*Latte)
The Way You Look Tonight - Tony Bennett (Jazz*Latte)

Oh yes. Doris Day. Should be familiar with the name if you've read the book A Thing About Jane Spring. Amazing. So...so...I don't know I just enjoy them. Even if they're slow-ish, some of these songs are the happiest I've ever listened to. And the violins, pianos and saxophones are just a breath of fresh air, considering the heavy ear damage that drums, bass guitars and electric guitars have inflicted in my ear. Okay, so there's still evidence of drums in these songs, but they're not that...hmm...Yeah. HAHAHA.


I like my title. Everytime I feel gloomy, I think of it, 'cause it makes me smile. :-) (Haha, Erika.)


Tomorrow, I'll be 14, without much burden to spare. I sure as hell hope my birthday wouldn't suck this year just like my 13th. My 13th, dear GOD, that sucked ass. Really. Worst birthday. Drama drama pa eh. Hahahah. Yihee. It ends tonight raw (check awt the old blog). It ended EARLIER than that, honey. Grabe, natatawa ako.

I think I've changed much. The people around me probably haven't noticed, but of course I have. Which is ironic, really. But, to hell with it.

I think I've become more patient and sensitive when it comes to people, even though my sensitivity fluctuates sometimes. I cuss MORE, and I've been acting so much like a boy. I've lost every inch of poise and finesse in my body. Now I'm more conscious with what I say and do...not in that way, but you know... I try to monitor what I do so as not to hurt other people anymore. Also, so that I won't keep acting like such a boy.

What else. I've been critical of myself more than ever, but I'm glad that I have learned that once evidence of jealousy and envy show up, I try all I could to push it away. And it works. I'm happy.

I've also appreciated everything I have. The sun that shines brightly during the assembly, the cockroaches hovering (i'm kidding), my friends, my mom, my sister, my family... Everything. I've learned to show gratitude for the things I have, and the things I will receive. I learn to entrust in God in whatever that is to come.

I learned that every day is a constant opportunity to prove your self. Do not live in the past, nor in the future. The present is all you have. I learned that with inspiration, determination, perseverance and faith, you could achieve whatever you want to achieve. I learned to check with my mind and with my heart first. If something doesn't feel right, it means it isn't.

Mother knows best. That's for sure.

I also learned that being open about anything and everything is the bomb. Sometimes, a lie leads to another and then the next thing you know, you get tangled in your own web of lies without a way of getting out.

I've also read more books than ever.

From The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, I learned so much things about myself. 'Cause in that book are so much things in my mind verbalized. You know. It's like he explained it for me. Everything in this world is one, even lead and gold. That dreams should not be stopped by love. If love stops a dream, then it is not true. Some people, in the middle of their journey to their dreams, they lose all hope and then they live with "fate". Whenever something terrible happens, they blame the fates. Well, to hell with that. The university conspires with one person who reaches for their dream. These problems aren't evil things thrown randomly at us, they're used to test if we've learned something. If we haven't then it sure as hell is an experience to learn from.

I also learned that some things just cannot be stopped. Yes, there is still fate and destiny, but they don't stop you from reaching your "Personal Legend". What's supposed to happen is supposed to happen.

And lastly? Getting over someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving (or as I would prefer to say it...liking) them, it just means you'll learn to live by without them. Also, getting busy on certain things keep your mind off things you shouldn't be thinking about.

However, if there's one thing I never learned, it's how to do Math. Kidding. I think being good in Math comes with the confidence of knowing that your answer is right, whether it's negative, a decimal or a fraction.

So, cheers to my 14th birthday and to everything I've loved, learned and lost. :-)


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