Wednesday, September 19, 2007
why do we like to hurt so much?
emo shiznit coming up. don't have to read it if you don't want to.
***
Superman
My love, this is what we have become.
Structures left undone,
Stories ended as written,
A smile swept in one fast motion.
A second before it has passed.
A memory that will never last.
Seeds before sown,
I’m left all on my own.
In this dark abyss, the savage waves of water crash.
All your words coming like whiplash.
Here in this dark abyss,
I am nothing but alone.
***
No idea how I came up with the title of Superman for this poem. I don't even know what point I'm trying to get across. Well actually, I do know the point. It just requires more than 2 sentences to explain my point, and much more tears to shed if I say it here.
It'll be safe to say that I was having one of those "down days" when I wrote this poem.
***
I feel so confused right now. Usually, the problem with people is that their heart is saying another thing and the mind is saying another. Usually, what the heart is trying to say would be something "irrational" or totally questionable. Otherwise goes for the brain's opinion--something rational, usually the right thing.
Now, in WHAT dimension would you find a person whose body functions the other way? My heart saying the rational thing and the brain saying the irrational thing. This is what happens to weird people like me. This does NOT happen to normal people.
To enlighten you...
Let me let you in to a conversation between me, my brain and my heart...
Me: okay guys, we need to do this thing!
Brain: what thing?
Heart: idiot. we decide on what we do with Migs!
Me: korek!
Brain: eh ano ba sabi ni heart?
Heart: well, i say we surrender and run off.
Brain: seryoso ka?
Heart: oo... eh kasi naman the evidence is presenting nil chances of ending up married with 6 kids to this guy, so what the hell are you waiting for?
Brain: i'm afraid i do not feel quite right about that thing...
Heart: stupid. you don't feel. i DO the feeling.
Brain: stupider. i DO the analyzing. you do the feeling.
Heart &
Brain: what the hell is wrong with us. oi gisingin mo si vicky, tulog na ata.
Me: i'm listening...
H&
B: okay, so what do we do?
Me: you're supposed to decide for me.
Brain: oo nga pala... so what do we do?
Heart: basta, i say we surrender migs to the girl-whose-name-is-also-a-title-from-a-led-zep-song.
Brain: masyado kang pamigay kung sino yang girl whose ewan ewan chaka kung sino si migs...
Heart: bakit? di naman ah.
Brain: oo kaya.
Heart: whatever, basta. migs does not like vicky, and that is that.
Brain: it's been 3 months (!??!?!?!??!) palang naman eh, how would you know.
Heart: three months ka diyan. um. hahaha. well that's what i think. or rather, feel.
Brain: i don't think that's right. ewan ko, something in me thinks that he likes her.
Heart: tanga, ako yata yung "something in me" na sinasabi mo eh.
Brain: EH YUN PALA EH. oh eh why are you saying that we shall surrender him to the led zep girl who probably likes him?
Heart: because...well according to you, that's the rational thing to do. but then parang i'm in peace with the thought na migs doesn't like our owner back. that he likes someone else, and that someone will make him happy.
Brain: hahaha i'm definitely not in peace with that. i don't know, maybe it's selfishness.
Heart: selfishness?
Brain: kasi i won't let myself love without being loved back. i guess may issue ako about that.
Heart: huh. hindi naman siguro. magkaiba lang talaga daloy ng dugo sa atin.
Brain: diba sayo galing yung dugo...
Heart: oo nga noh... hahaha.
Brain: o ano na?
Heart: alam ko na...
***a few minutes of short singsong in my head***
Brain and
Heart: VICKY?!?!?!
Me: Yes?
B&
H: we've reached our decision.
Me: talaga? talaga? TALAGA?!?!?
B&
H: we've agreed on...
Me: on... on...
B&
H: disagreeing!
NGEEE! Hahaha. This really went through my head. I don't know how. Oo, it's weird, pero it's how it really went through. I was even listening to The Used at that time. Hindi yung bago nilang album, panget yun. Yung dati. Hahahaha.
Haaaay. It feels good after you release everything.
Kaya ako natatawag na gossip freak nito eh. AHHAAH.
at
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