Sunday, February 3, 2008

Listening to:
Isn't She Lovely? - Stevie Wonder (does not fit the anxious mood, but I'm listening to it anyway.)

***

Last Friday, we had "the most important one-fourth sheet of paper in *possibly* our whole lifetime." Shocked at the sudden timing, it all came unexpected. We saw it coming, but we never thought it would come too soon. Some people were left gaping with indecision,a select few were sure of what to put. And then there were the people like me...who just had their mouths open and their brains' gears moving overtime. My problem was...I didn't know what I wanted in life. Or maybe I did, I'm just too chicken to go somewhere completely beyond me. The others knew what they wanted, but their parents didn't want the same. Which I guess, is much harder.

But in the end, everyone had to make decisions. Kahit kinopya (Hello Jiggy. Ay ako rin pala halos kumopya. Heehee.), kahit hindi . And somehow, in the future, we have to learn how to pay the consequences of our decisions.

And bloody hell, I am scared out of my wits.

***

Most of my classmates want to be Doctors. A number want to be Engineers. A few want to be Lawyers.

Ako, tanungin mo kung ano gusto ko maging.

I want to be a f*cking CEO, baby.

Of course, you can't be a CEO in Medical Science. Nor can you be a CEO in Engineering and Architecture. The same goes with Arts and Letters.

So look where I've landed. Where I've never even thought I'd land before.

Business and Entrepreneurship.

*collective gasping*

Si Vicky, Entrep? Oh my.

Seeing how in our school, the so-called "gifted" (oh, i am using this word with much caution.) people typically fall under MedSci and PhySci (since they're the harder career tracks). But not me. I don't think I'd ever be a doctor, and like hell, I don't see myself doing numbers my whole entire life.

But in all fairness, I had an INSANELY hard time deciding.

And since my dear dear friend Angeli is on the same boat as I am, she paddled the shit creek with me. We were "practically" on the same track, even if we didn't want the same things. Hell, she's probably the only person more confused than I am. (I mean that in the nicest way possible)

***

Okay. So here's WHY I crossed out the 3 other career tracks as my Top 1. and WHY I even considered them.

Medical Science.
First and foremost, EVERYONE is in here. Atleast a good 75% of our class will be going here. Ahh, the future doctors and nurses of our generation. Dapat may discount ako sainyo pag nagkasakit ako, ha.

Second of all, well, I don't think I would mind very much if I had to memorize TONS of things and a MASS of requirements, as long as my friends are there.

Third, well, I want to know what I'll be missing out on. Malay mo, medicine is for me pala, I just didn't realize.

REJECTED because: Well, I just don't think I'd ever be a Medicine person. It involves so MUCH blood, time and projects. Sayang lang if I go here and I won't be in the Medicine area of profession.

Engineering and Architecture:
I don't even know why I considered this one. Oh, right. Angeli was considering it too. And besides, even if Math is my weakest subject, I do find it enjoyable (it all started on a lonely night with nothing but me, my Math notebook, my iPod and some radicals.). I'm really just insanely careless when it comes to solving--even the most basic stuff to be remembered come amiss. And besides, I think I suck in Math because I think and believe that I do.

I was considering to take up Industrial Management Engineering, diba? So if ever that I want to take that course, at least I'm all geared-up and ready. And if I didn't, well atleast my Math will improve, and I will finally, finally benefit from it.

REJECTED because: Even if I enjoy Math, it doesn't mean that it's something natural to me. It's something I have to work hard for. And I've decided that why will I take up Industrial Management Engineering if I don't think I'd enjoy it? I'm usually the happy-go-lucky person. And even if I work well under pressure, it doesn't mean that I have to work under pressure the whole time. I have limits too you know.

Arts and Letters:
Oh, it's hard to believe, but I find this offer irresistable. I've been told that they were planning to put a PHILOSOPHY elective on this one. Holy shite. Philosophy? That's my thing. Pilosopa ako eh. No seriously. I'd bet most of people my age haven't heard of Carl Jung, Sigmund Freud, Soren Kierkegaard or Karl Marx. This is my thang. :) (Nerd much.) And I don't even know how it became my thang. It just was. Tamang-tama to. For the people like me who think too much and over-analyze. Besides, I'm a good observer. I observe people a lot. I observe as far as my four eyes can take me.

And besides, I was planning to take up (initially) Communication Arts in DLSU diba? And our guidance counselor said that this track is for the truly bilingual. I am that. I swear to God. Nanunumpa ako sa Poong Maykapal.

REJECTED because: It can only take me so far. If I don't decide to take up ComArts, sayang lang yung last two years ko of high school. Because unlike some people, I do care about the career track I choose. I want to take these as opportunities for success during college and after college. I mean these are opportunities na, man. Who would be stupid not to take advantage of it?

And besides, I can always take up Philo units. And even if I do take up ComArts, well I don't think I'd lose anything if I don't take this track.

and then there was one.

WHY I Chose Business and Entrepreneurship. And WHY I was having second thoughts.

Initially, my mum was trying to convince me to take up this career track because whatever course I choose, this will come useful in life..eventually.

But of course, I was thinking..."sino naman kasama ko dun?" I'd be there nga, but I don't have anyone with me naman.

And besides, the pressure of choosing the harder career tracks are there.

But I guess, in the end, I chose it because it was where I'd benefit the most. And I guess it was what I wanted. In fact, my heart is strangely at peace with my decision.

Sabi nga ng lasing na kaibigan ni Katherine Heigl sa 27 Dresses... "If it's the right thing to do,then why doesn't it feel right?" (or something like that.)

Meaning...well I feel right,right now (is there a pun to pardon?). SO maybe it's the right thing to do.

And right at that moment when I passed my one-fourth (I was bouncing up and down with gay abandon, screaming entrep ako!!! entrep ako!!! ikaw, entrep ka???) I remembered what I told my guy friend JP before.



So yeah. If I was happy without a specific, pin-pointed reason, then maybe it was the right thing to do.

Good luck. I'm still scared shiteless of the "entrep ka LANG?" thing. But of course, I'd be screaming right at your face: "i want to be a f*cking CEO. because unlike some people, I have a purpose"

Good luck nalang sa classmates ko next year. Well good luck to me, I hope I still stay in one section with my fellow 27 mates who chose Entrep too. And the not-so rotten people. And Angeli, of course. Although I think she wants to be in PhySci. Well if she wants to be there, then I'd be there too. I don't know why. Dearie, they don't have calculus in Accounting. My mom said so.

at 4:31 PM

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