Monday, February 18, 2008

sailing on a shi cree withou a padd



It's been too long.

Have you come to wave me off,

And leave me sailing on my own?

You hit the fast forward.

I hit the rewind.

We're never on time,

Never on the same line.

Darling Darling Darling.

Can't you see.

It's been too long,

For you and me.


That was a really sad and pathetic attempt to write a decent piece of poetry. Mind you, that was... a) on-the-spot b) something that was initially meant to be a letter, but evolved into a poem instead.

I like it though. It's like an inside joke between


You are really not who you used to be.

Or maybe...

You haven't changed...

But I have.


I lately just realized that I am a sadist.

I click on links I should never even risk clicking (even if there aren't any...ehr...*banned* content in it. no,you PERV. i'm not talking about porn!). I go to pages I shouldn't even go to. And I listen to gossip I should never even believe.

But I'm probably the most pessimistic optimist on the planet. I'm a stickler (is there such a word?) for expecting the worst,so that if ever the worst happens...a) i'm prepared and b) it wasn't as if i didn't expect it. and if ever that the opposite happens...a) there's twice the joy and b) there's twice the joy.

Another thing to prove my sadism is that I actually am quite drawn into taking the Eng/Archi career track because I think I am going to take Industrial Management Engineering. Or Management Engineering. Whatever's on that note.

Everyone knows Eng/Archi is the hardest career track. It involves making scale models of things and calculating the whole width and breadth of the whole field and HELL it involves a LOT of MATH and PHYSICS. I dislike Physics. I'm more of a Chemistry person. Well atleast back in 1st year. I got higher grades in Physics, but I enjoyed Chemistry more. Haha.

And besides. I now believe that I have good potential and foundation to be a Math genius (I did get a perfect score in our quiz kanina. This is not gloating. This is false gloating. EVERYONE got a perfect score. But atleast I didn't have difficulty obtaining the answers, devah??? Wtf am I talking about. I'm such a fat loser.) provided that I work really really hard.

Eh. Tamad ako.

And now I'm scared outta my pants.

What am I going to doooooooooooooooooo?!?!?!

And besides. Taking PhySci is like...having my lovelife personified go in front of a truck load of shit and just stayed there, unblinking, waiting for the truck to crush it.

WHY? you ask.

You don't want to know.

I don't even want to know.


This is what's wrong when you have a blog, you're lantad, and you actually NEVER learn to keep your own secrets.

Mahirap gumamit ng codename. Hahaha.


I should let you know that I have this crazy, psycho comfort-thing that I do.

There was once this blog whom I really liked to read a lot. And she now stopped blogging.

And to comfort myself?

I read her past posts.

What the hell do I know. It comforts me in an odd, strange way. I don't even try to understand the workings of my mind, and I encourage you to do the same. No one understands me. It's not an emo thing to say. No one really does. 'Cause I'm odd. I'm a freaking oddball. Heck, I can't even understand myself sometimes.


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