Monday, February 18, 2008
sailing on a shi cree withou a padd
It's been too long.
Have you come to wave me off,
And leave me sailing on my own?
You hit the fast forward.
I hit the rewind.
We're never on time,
Never on the same line.
Darling Darling Darling.
Can't you see.
It's been too long,
For you and me.
That was a really sad and pathetic attempt to write a decent piece of poetry. Mind you, that was... a) on-the-spot b) something that was initially meant to be a letter, but evolved into a poem instead.
I like it though. It's like an inside joke between me...and...ehr...me.
You are really not who you used to be.
You haven't changed...
But I have.
I lately just realized that I am
I click on links I should never even risk clicking (even if there aren't any...ehr...*banned* content in it. no,you PERV. i'm not talking about porn!)
. I go to pages I shouldn't even go to. And I listen to gossip I should never even believe.
But I'm probably the most pessimistic optimist on the planet. I'm a stickler (is there such a word?)
for expecting the worst,so that if ever the worst happens...a) i'm prepared and b) it wasn't as if i didn't expect it. and if ever that the opposite happens...a) there's twice the joy and b) there's twice the joy.
Another thing to prove my sadism is that I actually am quite drawn into taking the Eng/Archi
career track because I think I am
going to take Industrial Management Engineering
. Or Management Engineering
. Whatever's on that note.
Everyone knows Eng/Archi
is the hardest career track. It involves making scale models of things and calculating the whole width and breadth of the whole field and HELL it involves a LOT of MATH and PHYSICS.
I dislike Physics
. I'm more of a Chemistry
person. Well atleast back in 1st year. I got higher grades in Physics, but I enjoyed Chemistry more. Haha.
And besides. I now believe that I have good potential and foundation to be a Math genius (I did get a perfect score in our quiz kanina. This is not gloating. This is false gloating. EVERYONE got a perfect score. But atleast I didn't have difficulty obtaining the answers, devah??? Wtf am I talking about. I'm such a fat loser.)
provided that I work really really hard.
Eh. Tamad ako.
And now I'm scared outta my pants.
What am I going to doooooooooooooooooo?!?!?!
And besides. Taking PhySci is like...having my lovelife personified go in front of a truck load of shit and just stayed there, unblinking, waiting for the truck to crush it.
WHY? you ask.
You don't want to know.
I don't even want to know.
This is what's wrong when you have a blog, you're lantad,
and you actually NEVER learn to keep your own secrets.
Mahirap gumamit ng codename. Hahaha.
I should let you know that I have this crazy, psycho comfort-thing that I do.
There was once this blog whom I really liked to read a lot. And she now stopped blogging.
And to comfort myself?
I read her past posts.
What the hell do I know. It comforts me in an odd, strange way. I don't even try to understand the workings of my mind, and I encourage you to do the same. No one understands me. It's not an emo thing to say. No one really does. 'Cause I'm odd. I'm a freaking oddball. Heck, I can't even understand myself sometimes.