Wednesday, July 2, 2008
so many questions, I need an answer.
Someday We'll Know - New Radicals
the 90s rock.
Back earlier than I expected.
I didn't know it would drag on this far. I didn't know. I. Didn't. Freaking. Know. What. I. Was. Getting. Myself. Into.
Demmit. Who knew what I was getting myself into anyway? It was a petty thing. A very petty thing.
It's so funny, it's not even funny. (HA?!?!?!)
Now the moral lesson of the story is... nothing is ever a petty thing. Things start out petty, and then they accumulate events, facts and people. And now the petty thing is just a tangled web of...everything.
I'm so tired na. I'm tired. Sure. I get out of breath. Sure I smile. But now I'm not smiling. And I am perfectly and normally breathing. And I am tired of the repetitive way that things are going. Hindi ko na maintindihan. Why do I always ask questions? How come I never understand what I want? How come I never know what I want?
Why can't I be consistent?
Why is it always...there?
How come it has this effect on me?
I suppose I can't blame people. i don't know their issues. But I can't help it. Argh. I badly want to punch something, someone in the face right now, just to release the anger.
I've waited for the breaking point long enough. Still hasn't come. When will it come? Para when the pieces break I won't put them together na. It's just so tiring.
It's like. It's like I'm playing a game with someone I don't want to play with anymore. Sometimes I don't even know I'm playing a game. But I am. I feel like I am.
Grabe. i need my dots.